Nonviolent Communication (NVC) encourages a shift away from demands and prerequisites toward clearly articulated needs and requests. Instead of using language that implies predetermined outcomes or fixed notions of how others “should” behave, NVC promotes expressing observations, feelings, needs, and requests. For example, instead of stating “You’re always late,” which carries an implicit demand for punctuality, an NVC approach might be, “When I notice the meeting start time has passed and you haven’t arrived, I feel concerned because I need to ensure we cover all agenda items within the allotted time. Would you be willing to let me know if something prevents you from arriving on time?” This approach distinguishes between observation and evaluation and focuses on fulfilling needs rather than imposing demands.
This shift in language fosters connection, understanding, and empathy in interpersonal interactions. It reduces defensiveness and promotes collaborative problem-solving. Historically, the concept of expectations has often been intertwined with societal norms and power dynamics, leading to misunderstandings and conflict. NVC offers a pathway to dismantle these ingrained patterns and cultivate more authentic and fulfilling relationships by focusing on the present moment and individual needs.
